The Polar Express is the worst train in the world. It was built in WhoCares BC to take children to Santa Claus on Christmas Eve when the guy SHOULD be delivering presents. After some parents sued the train's conductor, Tom


Hanks, for kidnapping, the train was repurposed as simple transport to the North Pole and Hanks somehow got to keep his job.

The only thing the train serves is hot chocolate. However, their only rule is that it should never cool, so they take it back before it's at a temperature you can drink at. It only appeared in the christmas special when The Big Four needed to get to the North Pole, and the train was the only transport available.

This led to Shrek having a mental and physical breakdown due to all the screaming, unattended kids. The only kid on the train that stays on all year round is simply called Know-it-all Kid, and his name pretty much describes him as a character. He was fortunately killed by Johnny Test.


Unfortunately, if you want to sleep on the train, you are awoken by one of the trains several STUPID song and dance numbers, one of which is literally about how they have hot chocolate (pictured right). Even if you try to get some rest afterwards, you have to somehow block out the annoying singing from the kids who repeat the past song for about 7 hours.

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